For Snowflower….

...  a person I'm proud to call my friend.  

A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.


~ Arabian Proverb

The word ‘friend’ is tossed around so often and so carelessly that it has lost its true meaning and value.  Nowadays, every person you meet is your “friend”. Certainly, we accept them on Facebook as our friend. 

Over the years, I have been very selective of who I call my friend.  This is not because I think I am better than anyone, or think that my company is so valuable. 

Everyone wants to have friends, the more the merrier.  I’m the opposite.  I don’t want hundreds of friends…I want just a few.  I don’t want to be popular, I want to be genuinely accepted for who I am. 

I have had many, many acquaintances.  And many, have been really good people with whom I’ve been able to share my thoughts, my joys and my sorrows with.  But when times of change came for either me or them, the relationship slowly withered away through no fault of mine or theirs.  I cherish the times I’ve had with these people. 

Unfortunately, from experiences, I have learned that some “friends” are fair-weather friends.  They are friends with you during all the good times but when troubles come along, they are nowhere to be found.  I am just as guilty as being a fair-weather friend to others.  I don’t think anyone is completely perfect. 

I’ve been “friends” during my younger years with absolutely foolish, horrible, ungodly people.  They were acquired by doing stupid things to either be “cool” or “accepted” and even "loved".  Friendship with these people showed me how fast I can fall down, be robbed of self-esteem, morals and values, and sheer grace...and none of them will be there to pick me up.  “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful”.
Psalms 1:1

I have also had friends that I’ve “bought”….meaning , the friendship depended on the stuff and items they received and not the friendship derived from the individuals themselves. 
Well, sure enough, friendship with these people don’t last very long.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Then there was Snowflower….a person I met in college.  We were both shy, both minority Indian women who were in this male dominated college.  We didn’t become friends overnight….in fact, the process was long and took MANY, MANY years.  I realized that a good friendship is developed over time like fine wine.  This person was someone willing to point out my faults and shortcomings and not just agree with me at all times.  We have a few things in common and many things uncommon.  But we take both and make it work!  We have allowed each other to learn from mistakes, not picked up all the pieces or put them together.  Sometimes despair and hopelessness makes you stronger. 

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
~ Henri Nouwen

I can’t say that we haven’t exchanged angry words or had disagreements.  Maybe she doesn’t know it, but with her words, she has sharpened me into a better person.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

We never competed to be better than each other….we accepted our place and position in life.  We have encouraged each other to do our best and be the best with what we are given….with this we have watched each other grow from college kids to strong women.

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
~ William Arthur Ward

We have given each other space to change, grow and make mistakes.

We have respected each others privacy, been honest, and been trustworthy.  We have listened at the right time, we have remained quite at the right time. 

Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.
~ Anonymous

In order for friendships to continue to evolve and grow, we have to encourage each other in all areas of life:  body, mind, soul, relationship with others, and spirituality.  We have to listen with an open mind.  Give advice that is well-thought of and not hasty, ones that brings peace into their hearts. 

I challenge everyone to place extreme thought and care in choosing your friends. The friends we choose will influence us in some way or another. We want the influence they have on us to be positive. The most positive influence that could be made is one that will help us on our pathway to heaven. True friends should help, not hinder, your faith as you draw closer to God.


"Do not be anxious of evil men, nor desire to be with them;" Proverbs 24:1

I pray that God will bless my friendships and continue to help me on my path to also being a better friend.  What is your experience with “friendship”?